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An exciting day :)

Today went back for work from 12noon to about 9.30pm. Before the action starts, I am pretty uncertain about what exactly i need to do. From what I was told it sounds like I just need to stare at the screen.

Then at work, I realise that is totally wrong We have to follow up on this and that why they are not connected etc. At first I was pretty unsure of what to do, but slowly i get the hang of it and due to the limited time things get pretty exciting. Most funny thing is when i heard my name over the conference bridge…haha..someone who dunno me just repeated … a gal by the name sxxxx called and says …… ^^| gosh….haha…somemore that was after a different instruction was given over the bridge so my instruction was off….^^|  Some more HL can still joke with me says I became “famous”!!!

But I felt pretty good, felt that given that i have not much briefing before hand and everything was learnt / told / known on the spot, i can still manage it towards the end. Updating the list, calling etc … felt so much happier and better as compared to the previous round (one of the rehersal) and this actual exercise was much more exciting. Although in the end I still did a stupid mistake….mistaking my own windows “start” button as the remote desktop one and open a wrong sql window~~ then kenna minus points again! Somehow i am very prone to this kind of silly mistake…and kept kenna demerit points ^^| until my other “sis” actually says ” how many points you want to minus?” ……

Recently i also realised something…I been lunching with the leads and boss….in my team. Someone forgot something in the office and i say left other “sis”, MS and HL in the office…then he kinda don’t want to trouble them to take. To me…..anytime i sure ask other “sis” to help me ^^| Mmmm….to me, before other “sis” was a lead, before I am in the team, I already take her as a good fren/sis/someone to learn from and also lunch with her, MS and HL also. Didn’t really want to change anything just because now I am in the team. Have i take our work relationship too casually? i wonder…mm….but I don’t want to add in any distance just because we are in the same unit >.<

this aside, still dunno what I did wrong..that I kinda fall out of the circle for the clique (LD/LDLD) i like to hang out with at work…….i really wonder, been trying really hard to get back in but sometimes is just a bit too tiring. there are only so much i can do … maybe i just think too much, just myself is drifting away…i really dunno though. Sometimes it gets abit tough when friendship does not reciprociate i guess.

But after trying so hard, I also realised that i seems to overlooked my other friends outside of work…thus recently been trying hard to catch up with them. Also … being to feel that my parents seems to need/want some times, more time than before^^|.. then also should give some time for my siblings … then church etc…oh time is so limited!

I am amaze also that today i can still work today after all the “fang zong” – ness i have last night. but it was a good chill out time, pouring out xin li hua and stuff. but i guess the drink was indeed a little too strong for me ^^|….maybe…thats the real me? hahahha…..i really wonder…this part of me seems to appear once every 1-2 years.

Lastly…said something wrong recently…ai…think i really want to learn … to be more quiet…talk less!!! Sometimes..silence is golden!

Getting too absorbed by work…

After working here for almost 7 months, I realised one thing, my life….seems to left only 1 thing and that is work!

Its been 2-3 months since I last visited my aunt/grandma, if not for the TW trip…i haven’t really have a good rest!

Everyday…after work …even on the bus, sometimes i daze out thinking about how to resolve some issues @ work.

My whole mind is being filled by work!!!

My avg knockoff time is abt 8-9pm now. Which is not healthy. I have stopped all my financial planning, all my investment……..meeting my fren less & less.

Feeling abit down, sad, lost? Because sometimes certain friendship come too fast…and when it turns colder…abit not used to it. Missing the OT dinner together, the late nights in the office…the KTV, the  搭順風車的日子。。。Now when i go work…sometimes i feel abit lonely. ~~

Certain things i also 太過重視。。。。maybe  I should just take it naturally…I would feel better…

Sometimes…i will think if making friends at work is a right or wrong decision…nothing wrong with them…I just fet that at times I am too emotionly attached.

sleepy le…nite.

Bull charge + a memorable night

Today was the first time I run the Bull Charge! A bit messy and still cannot understand why the bus was arranged to be so early? The run starts at 6.30pm, warm up starts at 6pm, yet the bus pick us up at 4.30pm! Gosh…even with some delay i reached the floating platform at 5pm! Almost wanna go to marina sq for a walk!

Chopstick sister fly my aeroplane thus went there alone >< Was roaming around alone but luckily met up with people here n there abit. But i think the food are well arranged, have swensen ice cream, ice milo and after the run there are buffet! haha..taste quite nice or maybe I too hungry?

Was wondering if i start off infront, will i be top 10 gals??? lolol….maybe  i think too much.

Wanted to shop for clothes for D&D tml…but was a bit lazy so instead, I walked back to LPS to meet chopstick and LDLD for dinner. Had a fruitful night chat as well. Have some take away but wonder who she is refering to…mmm. Recently then I came to know abt my new nick name koala…why? Cos i always “hang on” my LD…mmm…frankly speaking, didn’t really like this naming that was given, cos it makes me feel like I sticky/dependent on others.

This puts me to wonder…have I changed…or have I not been myself? Mmm…where is the independent me? Maybe I should do some self searching…what is happening to me!

This week was abit overwhelming both in terms of work n people. Felt the dress thingy for gala dinner was not well handled. On wednesday…was abit overwhelm with work yet have to think about the trying of dresses issues.

Logically….nothing big deal about this, but emotionally, I just can’t get over it. When I finally overcome myself to try on Thursday…it was base on obligation,Trust and tot i shd just let LD see. But in the end…when I open the door 4 people  came in. At the end of the session…..I was feeling a bit traumatized and uncomfortable over the whole event.

Today went to work with a black face…but then once I interact with people the black face is kept away as it is not really anybody’s fault, is just I can’t get over my own 堅持/thinking. Been thinking…was it because I was always smiling so I give people a wrong impression that I am okie….with certain things? Have I been trying too hard? Sometimes I can’t help but felt I am stepping on myself / stepped on….eventhough it was jokingly.

But then again, maybe in the first place I shouldn’t have such expectation on others…like LDLD always reminded, people may not know or have a diff expectation!

Back to the dinner at LPS, after that LDLD gave me a lift but the lack of petrol crisis became a lack of battery crisis. So we waited at the petrol kiosk for about 30-45mins. To me, the wait is not time wasting, infact, it was an interesting experience. Hahha..20 Nov 2009, commonwealth petrol station, LDLD I will always remember this Only with  ME then all these weird weird things will happen! LOLOL in the end LDLD also started owning me stories….LOL…alertness…

lastly….think been quite sometime since i met my theGanG, shall we watch 2012???^^||

フォトーエッセイ (Photo Essay)

卒業前にフォトーエッセイをかった。 日本語のクラスが大好きから、このフォトーエッセイかきたい。 最近、優秀賞をもらった。

昨日フォトーエッセイ授賞へいった。 大学の先生たちは授賞へ行かななった。 残念ね。 でも青葉の先生たち授賞へいった、とても楽しかったよ。そこで先生がたくさんいるけど、学生が四人だけいる。 そこで晩ご飯を食べたり、フォトーエッセイ授賞をもらったり、琴をきいったり、先生たちと話したりしました。 そして、もつおか先生と一緒にうちへ帰るとき、アイスクリムをたべた。そして、一緒にバステへいった。

My Japanese is limited, so I shall blog in English here as well, I wrote the photo essay back then partly was because I was feeling sad that the class ended. Never expect to win anything, was very happy to won the 優秀賞. I decided to go for the prize presentation as I was thinking that my sensei will go, so hopping to catch up with them. However, on Friday night I just got to know both ライせんせい and 藤井せんせい are not going, so am having second thoughts about going but a bit too late to not go now, so I still decided to go.

Saturday, I went for my basic 3’s test at Aoba, and it so happened that one of the oral test question was what are you going to do afterwards, I replied I am going to JAS (japanese association Singapore), then もつおか先生 replied that she is also going! I was shocked, though in the middle of the oral test, I asked sensei to go together, but her reply was she is going with other sensei and unsure of the time and how they are going. I assumed by this, meaning she is not keen to go together so I said is okie, I will go alone and meet there later on. Am happy at least someone I knew is going but abit sianz that sensei dun wanna go together (I assume so lah…might be wrong though).

Was late, because of traffic jam + almost got into car accident, the bus somehow “kissed” the back of a taxi, lucky it was a light peck so think both are find so the bus continued. I reached there at 8pm! when i am supposed to reach at 7pm and event starts at 7.30pm!

Saw my sensei there (too excited and got stuck at the door…cos of my bagg ^^|), then very luckily got assigned to seat beside my sensei ^__^ just as the host was introducing that the whole table are sensei, we were telling her that the sensei right beside me is my current sensei! hahah….after that everyone is like saying おめてとうございます (meaning congratulation) and all seems to know that I am from NUS. So with my very limited Japanese I tried to explain that I graduated so am now with Aoba.

Then while I queued to take food, Pauline sensei started talking to me, she used basic japanese (to accomodate) me but I mistook her as a very experienced japanese student and even asked “pauline san は学生ですか” (asking if she is student)…then she shocked for a moment and replied that she is sensei!!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahha…I am so ^^|||

After that they seperated us into different tables so I got seperated with all my sensei, and I sat beside a Nanyang Polytechnic sensei (sumimasen, I forgot the name^^|). We chatted along quite well….guess chatting with sensei is very good…they know how to lower their level of japanese to accomodate us, so we talked quite a bit. Enjoyed myself. Even gave both her and Pauline sensei my name card (actually is my email n contact that I wrote behind) to keep in touch. (ops…just as I was giving they are also exchanging contacts LOLOL)

One thing that surprise me is that towards the end of the event, Matsuoka sensei came over and talked to me, then invited me over to her table to sit. I was abit shocked…as mention infront that I felt she is not keen to go there with me, so i naturally thought that she would like to keep the teacher – student distance. Then after that she even offered to go home together, even more shocked.

Then on the way back, she suddenly ask if I like to eat ice-cream, I said yes, then she pointed to one ice cream outlet and says it is very nice. Being me…I asked sensei if wanna eat ice cream and even says women always have space for ice cream ^_^. Then sensei treated me to ice cream and we sat down for a while…but no space so we sit outside, abit too noisy so we proceeded back. She accompany me to the bus stop then I got her email and got on bus 171 back. Before that she was pointing that her house was across the road..then I shocked…n ask why we cross over here then ^^| (meaning we actually passed her house….hahahah).

In any case, am very happy that an event that I thought would be lonely turned out quite interesting. Though I am not continuing my intermediate 1 immediately, after this I am really keen to pay for my full intermediate classes…to lock myself in. wahahhaha….not just becos i like the sensei, but also i like the classes and wanted to continue leanring japanese language. Am afraid if i dun lock myself in by $$…i might just stop. I cannot continue now as am too busy with work for this 2 weeks..dun wanna further stress myself, intend to continue Jan next year……but might have to do it on weekday…according to Matsuoka sensei.

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Stitch

Side track abit, I recently started playing the UFO catcher again ^^ haha..yesterday was very lucky, got a stitch!!! It is pretty cute, I gave it a few tries but failed. then i went for other machines…not much luck except for a small doll doll, then just as I was abt to leave, I saw the positioning seems pretty good and give it a try! I miss-ed my aiming…but it turns out the perfect strategies! I lifted the stitch head abit and becos it was too heavy it dropped back, but becos of the physics thingy, the falling head pulled the whole doll doll into the hole! hahah…wow-ed everyone as I got it in one try! hahaha…(but they most probably didn’t know that I spented abt $10-12 on it previously already!).

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Thoughout the post, I mentioned that I “assumed” …. recently LDLD pointed out and emphasized that I tend to “assume” things. Which is quite true. This week I worked quite late…been dining with them quite a few times. So on Thursday, we went for dinner at about 7pm then go back to work. then at about 9.30pm I went down to 2nd floor to work with them…21st floor is too quiet. Then LDLD gave us (chopstick sisters) a question…what is the 4th action that comes after her frequently preached “Plan, Do, Check”. The instant answer that came to my mind was “Re-arrange”. But I decided not to shoot off my butt so I gave it more thought…and I “assume” that check should include this…so I answered “Target/Goal” …. as i felt that should be the big picture of these series of action though not necessary the 4th step.
Answer? it is Act…which is status quo, reprioritize and etc….which is sorta re-arrange! Think becos of what I assumed, I insisted that check and 4th step abit repetative….and got a very strong wake up call from LDLD. I assume too much >.< ….

The way it was put across came across very strongly to me…that sets me in abit of daze and thoughts after that….now whenever I assume things, I will tend to ask myself..should I assume ? I should not asssume too much, so should verify…but then again certain things if u ask too many times..I am worried am too intruding/become a nuisance. how to get a balance from this? I am still pondering and trying to get the right balance!

Apart from this….been very busy @ work …and with all my late emails to my boss…they started showing concern if I am overload. Is a bit overwhelming but it is really exciting also. Am learning alot and felt that my bosses are quite understanding that I am in my learning phase. Felt the development they are trying to give me, so am very happy too. Despite working late, with the nice colleagues and superiors, though I felt the pressure, i am happy and enjoying myself @ work everyday ^_^.

Later must do some reading and work…need to dig out my CS3254 textbook! hahaha…and gotta do some jogging also to be prepared for the bull charge on coming friday
A very long post….no time to post so cram everything in one post^^| ops….

Some other overall things that I wanna note down over the week:

- Was abit saddened that my trustworthyness was being doubted…though i reacted with a joking tone.

- One happy thing is in another instance…my LD really understands me well…hahah when everyone was wondering if my answer is true, she said that given my character if I will even say this…it must be true. Yes…u are so correct, hahaha it always amaze me at your level of understanding of me.

- today have a weird dream again…mmm…is the 2nd time…mmm….would we think abt the same thing sometimes I wonder…mmmmm

First day @ work on Saturday!

Theoretically this is not the first day, I came down weeks ago before but just to observe. This time round, I did some real work! Yeah ^^ Though I was asked to come down to “look see” today too, I myself am actually quite keen in this as well as I been hearing about it and people whom I am close with are very much involved in the project. Thus was quite happy to be ask to go, however, I also didn’t want myself to waste time thus volunteered for some work

Last night wanted to sleep early as today gotta wake up at 5.30am for work, but was unable to do so as I met up with a financial planner and a friend. Not only that, it took me a while to fall asleep because I was both excited and worried about today.

Excited, because I can get involved and work with colleagues that I longed to work with.

Worried…because I am not sure what I will be doing + I’m worried I will screw up and leave a bad impression….

Why? Although I was told one person’s opinion is not impt…I still mind some people’s opinion/impression of me alot. (just like the person who told me this says she used to mind someone’s opinion a lot…thus I say I understand) I was very happy yesterday when I came to know about that she actually have good impression of me. Somehow we were chatting and mentioned first impression of her, was trying hard to recall as I know it was in a meeting where we first met (apart from the introduction…although I don’t remember being introduced to her). She said for someone this new to be able to contribute in a meeting and say sensible things, is pretty good. I can’t recall what I said, though I do remember saying things…I was called into the meeting so last minute and back then I started working  for about 10 days or less only! Though i tried hard to recall yesterday, but nothing much came to my mind ><
Forgot to say yesterday, but you did leave an impression as well, I was thinking wah..this “zai” gal must be you.

Nonetheless, am still very happy to know that 2 person have good impression of me.  Therefore, the more I don’t want to screw up this impression and were abit concern abt the fact that the people up there never assign work to me yet I am going to helpout …thus was a bit worried about today, worried I will implicate people or things. Luckily…H was already informed, so turned out quite okie I think. Morning was abit screwed up, as I thought I was suppose to work with CK (as I was told she will lookout for me)…then I realised she also not sure what I am suppose to help with. Next thing came some work finally…yet I did not think of a smarter way to do it…….and doing things in a super primitive way. Dotz…

Luckily after that I think I did pretty ok for what was assigned, hope overall I did be of some help to the team. Though many asked why am I there today, but frankly speaking, I don’t mind going for every session:) But because of my Japanese class, I would need to leave at 2pm though. Anyway my work today are mainly before 2pm…after that I was actually trying to figure out some excel formulas for future ID matching purposes.

Today, I failed to practice lesson 1,2,3 again! Surrounding awareness >< Hahhaa…but was fun that both of us have the same mentor/friend/senior sharing the lesson 1,2,3 and even 4,5,6. First … I was overly confident when I commented abt the macro….ai….that I thought I sound abit arrogant >< (I am just trying to say is do-able…nothing else … ^^|). Then followed by my lack of surrounding awareness >< Hahha…was shocked when J mentioned “surrounding awareness”…as she mentioned that our lesson 1,2,3 are different 1,2,3 but yet she knew abt this! After that when I dinner with LDLD, I then realised my 1,2,3 is communication 1,2,3….her’s is awareness 1,2,3. Hahhaa..but somehow surrounding awareness was taught to both of us…hahaha. LDLD even said…”you two ar…” hahhahaha. She is like taking 2 little gals in hand……actually, we are just blunt/straight forward in our ways…LOLOL

 Was very happy later on as well when LDLD expressed interest in having tea with me and especially saying is good that I am keen to come and learn things outside my working hours. She says is rare nowadays and is a good attitude. Was rather surprise and abit shy ^^| but am very happy at the same time on this comment though ^_^. These are people whom I admire and lookup upon, and learning to be like them….zai and dependable! Therefore, their opinion matters alot to me…LOL

Made many new friends…in this short 3.5months…I considered a few of them close friends there, with them I always let down my guards and sometimes even get on quite personal topic. But was abit shocked that day when LD says this to me…”to me don’t need to be politically correct”….was pretty shocked but pephaps…I tried too hard to cool her down..LOLOL. For a moment I thought she was angry with me, was quite worry…luckily is not and this incident actually brought us closer…hahaa

Although new friends are found, I still miss my existing friends also lah…theGanG when shall we meet up? LOLOL